tata going back to school to mug...coming back ever now or then to check my downloads

btw check this out nice political parody http://atomfilms.shockwave.com/af/content/this_land_af

and somethings stupid happened during chem prac todae...and the stupid thing was the prac handheld you all the way such that it wasn't even necessary to do such a thing, it was totally useless and utterly selfish. I dun want to take the prac again.

ahh i got into the purple tinge theres sth wrong with the camera 

szebee looks ultra chio in this pic u go girl ~ 

man this is some scary shit 

state of the union

hmmm...haven't update in a while..not like it matters aniwaez...

sleeping over night in school running around without footwear working out in the gym trying to break locker combis climbing the roof and smashing myself silly against the wall in an attempt to climb the side of the v block...man school is a fun place to play...esp when u have ppl like qinhong around :)

just downloaded kino...watched the first ep and i felt like i shld have watched it earlier...mebbe it would have changed my mind about doing cetain things....looks like a very cool series ...

The first batch of farewell photos came rolling in....found some good enuff ones to post...

if u received a msg on your phone asking u to surrender your phone during prac and your wondering why u received it....its bcos of me :)

iichan just died...i'm wondering whether it was bcos of me and my attempt to archive photos by camping there with my trusty firefox browser and download plugin :)....i wished ppl would just donate damm it i would if i had money...and a usable credit card.

1.iichan
2.deviantart
3.public morning musume tracker

all the same though i'm kinda glad it went down...i have this stupid habit of trying to get my hands on everything...no matter whether the pics are good or not..i rem wasting half my time online on deviantart in year one i think i finished browsing all the way till flash b4 giving up...

since my hp went missing i decided to make a list here of things that i recorded down...

xueqi-owe spriggan ccs part 2 10 dollars and a photo and vandread....ask for ccs part 1 and the funny korean animation thingy

tk-owe aro cd...owes me ghost in the shell (and one more series/movie?)

jr-owes me tsukihime and texhnoloyze....

jermee-owe at least 10 dollars

serene-owes me a music cd

yx - owes me naruto 1-90

yip hon - owes me naruto 90-97

qiuyu-hp

websites:bboy gfxartist urban freeflow some webcomics(?)
anime:azumanga haibane renmei mahoromatic junkers come here
after As- hit the gym try out pk learn guitar find a fucking job

mich says i shld try spiking hair, not the first time she has said it though mebbe i really shld try it but i prefer to keep it long like AKFG lead singer....and wtf are the god damm guys doing theres a beautiful smart witty and sassy girl who deserves to be in a relationship(ok that wld depend on whether ppl view relationships to be good or bad) i really hope she finds someone nice...(its supposed to be a longer post but i dun feel like writing more now mebbe someday i will blog abt mich)

ho hum thats it for todae time to post photos...

oh wait i support kerry...doesn't anyone find it ironic that bush is supposed to be the commoner when he was raised in a wealthy family, supports big corporations and free trade and was a white horse in the army and cut taxes for the rich and kerry is the one who was raised in a poor family...supports protectionist measure(for the common worker), worked his butt off in the army and won't raise taxes...and yet he is labelled as an elitiest? I have a feeling that americans are just plain stupid.

closure

after a sms chat with serene last night i have come to the conclusion that i am an asshole.

So this is an unconditional apology to jermee

1)I'm sorry i used this blog to sort this mess out. Bcos even if this is my blog and i want to use this to air out my true feelings, this is an inappropriate platform to terminate that frenship.I am a coward and i don't like confrontation, which is why i took the easy way out. At the very least it warranted a face to face talk; to throw a bombshell like that was disrespectful to u.

2) I'm sorry that i used the word hate. Bcos i dun hate u. U said in a post on your blog that u are not gonna bother if ppl can't accept u for who you are. Yeah i can't, its called a personality clash, its not sth that is wrong with u, bcos as far as i can remember u are a nice person, u care for your frens and you are generous with your frens. I can't take back the words that i wrote bcos in real life u can't take back the words u say but if i could have turned back the hands of time i would have said something to this effect :" I can't dun feel comfortable around you and i dun think we can be friends" which would have made far more sense that what i wrote.

3) I'm sorry for the timing. It came far too late, and it came at a bad time. I would have come clean earlier if not for the fact that u and tk were having some probs....and the last thing i wanted to do was to walk out on ppl who were already troubled by probs with their frens. when u started to turn to me and xueqi i told tk at that time that i couldn't fill the hole that he left and thats why he shld patch things up with u...i waited until i was sure that u guys were ok before i decided to pull this off, but i realised that it cuts extremely close to the a-levels and i'm sorry for any emotional distress i have caused u during this emotionally sensitive time.

4) I'm sorry to your fren yks. Who i have posted quite sarcarstic comments on his blog and over here. Bcos quite obviously he and i have quite diff priorities on wat we think are important to us, he obv values loyalty to frens and is going a rough patch in his life. In his eyes i noe i look like a spoiled brat bcos there are other things that are going wrong in his life which may make mine pale in comparison....but until hes in my shoes and feeling wat i feel hes to me what i am to him.

5)I'm sorry that things didn't work out. Cos u really tried hard to be frens with me and i really tried to reciprocate the favour. however sometimes stuff happens, and well i never thought that i would one day be the one that wreaks havoc, well it turns out i am. And i hate myself for that well i wish u the best in all your endeavours and i hope that one day we will meet again under more pleasant circumstances.

went w/o sleep for 36 hours today. went studying with si qi, hc, revat and davi at tampines...then went to the airport to study...then to school for maths remedial. I think i have very good anti-sleeping resistance....hoping to go one up today...

then went to swensens to celebrate mariettas bdae....i noticed only today that her acne cleared up already...i remember that when she came in her face was poccked like mark lee (ok lah mebbe not so bad)...haha i remember when my acne was really bad too... pimples used to break out quite regularly when i was in secondary school....i used to take a needle and proceed to pop them with vigour...i'm lucky that i dun have any major scars. When the pimple broke u had to squeeze out the yellow gooey stuff inside and then proceed to squeeze out the bad blood and then i would stare in the mirror and see the thick crimson blood flowing down...then i proceeded to squeeze it somemore until it started to hurt and hurt and hurt....there was this morbid sense of satisfaction that always accompanied it. U noe those pins that u used to pin up lame ss articles and stupid jokes yeah i played with them too. I would insert them at a angle into the palm to make this pretty round shape, expecially when i had calluses from doing too much pullups that area became very rough and numb and basically u just poke them inside and try to perform lame weight lifting experiments with the needle..the callus usually tore after i was done. Which is why i think i have very smooth hands now :)

aniwaez marietta is one of those girls who acts bimboish but is act very smart. i am still waiting for her to show it however.

hopefully u would already have guessed that it is as good as dead.

its not bcos i dun have the time to update..hell even now i'm surfing iichan and dl stuff. I can't understand ppl when they say they dun update their blogs during exam periods becos they dun have time.

its not bcos i have nothing to write. hell i'm daydreaming half the time...the other half is in front of the com :)

its bcos this blog wasn't what i intended it to be. I let it degrade to wat it has become todae because i became chained to the relationships and the feelings of the ppl who do read this blog, and i didn't have the courage to test them. There are things i do want to share with ppl...but there are also times when i wished to be alone, times when i felt irritated by the ppl around me. And these irritations though they are provoked by my mood, were ever present, they just got supressed by the carefree and playful facade of happiness that i wear on my face each and everyday 24/7. Yet when these moments arrive find myself at a loss for what to do...

In some measure this blog allowed me tof some of that. But even then i separated my emotions into personnas...to preserve this image that i contributed a large part to building. Well guess wat? its all me. MINE. And i became obligated to write this blog for the ppl around me instead of myself.

Well i'm tired of playing this game...

Maybe someone else might have been able to write a blog that was unadulterated, but not me. not when other ppl are reading it.

To my friends: You all have been good friends to me and i appreciate that i really do. u made my stay in vjc much better than what it would had been...but none of u will be my best friends. So i think i'm going to give up any pretense right here and now. And i'm just gonna say abt what i feel abt u all. even for some of those who dun noe abt this blog.

jermee- i hate u. i dunno why. or rather i think i noe why. but i 'm not going to put it here. about the only thing we prob have in common is being friends of tk. For the longest time i tried to find a way in which we could bond but in the end the only thing that came out of it was that u would try to sustain the convos by yourself and i would go back to my day-dreaming. And it became such that i dread going to your house or going out in a group with you.

tk-i really dunno what to do abt u. u have introduced me to a lot of cool stuff on the net and a lot of the music i like was suggested by you...and u were the one who really got me hooked on anime. But in the end when i think about it our friendship was built on common interest in the things we like...and thats not a bad way to start. but i feel as if it didn't progress beyond that. not one bit. I dunno what best frens are supposed to be and u came the closest to anyone...but in the end this is how its going to stay and i dun mind that not one bit...i just wanted to let u noe this. Even now i feel confused...so confused arggh..

xq-i'll come out straight with u. I did have a crush on you. You wanted to know who that girl is? Its you. I tried to divert your attention by making it seem like i had a semblance of an interewst in ql. And then i realised that i was manipulating even my frens. so i'm coming clean. But then again i had a crush on almost every girl that was nice to me...that i think i forgot what it felt like to really like someone. So take it whatever way suits u best...sometimes i feel as if u are really lovable...but there are days when i think u are a stupid bimbo. I'm pretty sure i dun hate u though. Thats all i can say. And if anyone wants to tease her or me abt this can just fuck off

qh-you have a really interesting and strong perspective on things...on some occasions i find it uncannily similiar to mine. And i respect you highly for that...u and ppl like brian. In a class where i thought i would die from the sheer stupidity and the immaturity of the ppl inside u ppl were my saviours. i have to admit one thing...i really hate ppl who are stupid. i dun believe thats elitist or watever but oh well. On the other hand i also respect ppl who are smart enuff to convince me of their viewpts when my own viewpts are so damm biased n unyielding...so yeah. I think its a pity our interests dun match though...

ser-there was a pt when i really thot u were selfish and all...bcos u and daphne according to jaime insisted on having a sdd table when there was obviously not enuff interested ppl...and jaime pressed me too hard and i got really irritated...one of the few times i act retaliated instead of just supressing it...and i didn't really understand what it meant to you..since then i was sitting with my class even and i didn't really fit in with them (as opposed to harmoc...where i act hated some of the ppl in there...just gonna name one daphne) and i didn't see why someone else could't do the same...all the same though as i go to noe u better...in large part through your blog too, u were a whole lot better than what my impression of u was. Which wasn't negative act...but can be summed up best as unremarkable.

others-if your reading this blog and want my honest in your face opinion then leave a msg...

if you have an opinion abt me just post it. keep it real please.

This blog is gonna stay. It isn't going to move to a new address as i tried to do at one pt. And i'm still gonna post in it. Just dont expect more of the same. or expect anything at all. Cos i just might not post anything at aall.

I've got the world on a string..

felt slightly better todae...good enuff to post...not yet to go on msn

aniwaez i thot i had lecture remedial for all subjects...but it turns out i don't :) At least not until monday aniwae....

miss ding is like the most scariest teacher i've ever met...

Studied afterwards with huay ching and davi in a T block classroom. Turned out to be very productive cos as of now....i have only done one chem qns. While just now i did 4. I think i'm going to stay in school to study from now on.

Oh and ppl who are still using IE please download firefox. Seriously. It can block pop-ups, supports tabbed browsing has a rss feed reader that updates your bookmarks, has an extension that lets u dl images in a page in one go(useful for iichan) and more importantly...if u choose not to install the fucking flash plugin it doesn't nag u to install it whenever u go to a flash website.
There an ongoing campaign now to challenge internet explorer and firefox is the best alternative there is.

Seems like i can't go online and not post nasty stuff...

So i'm staying away till my pms is over

In a foul mood.

Touch me and your dead.

-banchan

The next bastard who asks me to study...is going to have have his frigging throat slit.

What do u think i am a FAGGORTY BABY?!

News of the day: I"M NOT A FUCKING IDIOT

Ecclesiastes

These are the words of the Philosopher, Davids son, who was king in Jerusalem

"It is useless, useless, said the philosopher. Life is useless, all useless.
you spent your life working, labouring and what do u have to show for it?

Generations come and generations go but the world stays just the same
the sun still rises and it still goes down, going wearily back to where it starts all over again

The wind blows south, the wind blows north-round and round and back again
every river flows into the sea but the sea is not yet full, the water returns to where the
river began and starts all over again.

Everything leads to a weariness - a weariness too great for words.
Our eyes can never see enough to be satisfied; our ears never hear enough

What has happened before will happened will happen again
What has done before will be done again. there is nothing new in this world

"Look," they say, "here is something new!" But no;
It has all happened before, long before we were born

No one remembers what has happened in the past ;
and no one in days to come will remember what happens

Between now and then.

I'm thinking of setting up a gmail distribution channel for all our files until jermee gets his server :) since i have 6 gmail invites. Since gmail offers 1 gb of space...we can upload to our hearts content. Bcos evertime one of us finds sth interesting we have to send it from one person to another and then to another thru msn..which is time consuming and quite inefficient actually. And dl from gmail will be a lot faster than dl from someone. the gmail thing would work this way...

Each person would have one individual account and there will be one master account where everyone logs in and uploads stuff. If anyone finds sth interesting on the master account he or she can msg and i can log in and send it to their gmail account. i'm doing this in such a roundabout way instead of just getting ppl to dl fromthe master acc bcos gmail logs the ip of the person who logs into the account and if everyone just dls from the master account then it would look as if we are using it as a http downloader (which we are :) on the other hand if we just upload stuff from diff ips then it would just look like we are accesing from home or work or school.

The only drawback would be that file attachments are limited to 10 mb in size each...so that means no videos :) However music and images would work just fine.

The main beneficiary would be tk i think lol

So wat 'dy-all think?

A new benchmark got released...3d mark 05 Omg this screenshot looks like it came from a CG from final fantasy